Fantastic Four

Review: See below.

High: That Marvel’s first family is hopefully going be redeemed by the MCU.

Low: I’m putting my review here because this movie was just that bad. I’ve found with bad movies it’s easier to just put my notes instead of trying to string them together into a paragraph. So here we go.

Reed & Victor aren’t near smart enough. Especially Reed.

The characters were way too young, when they could’ve just had them match the ages of the actors.

Just a dumb movie.

‘You’re adopted? I know what that’s like.’ ‘You were adopted.’ ‘No, I just wish that I was.’ That was a genuine interaction meant to not be ironic.

Instead of having the 4 bond, they had 3 of them bonding with Doom instead.

They just went to this other planet for fun/to prove a point? And they were drunk?

Why inter-dimensional travel instead of just space travel?

The fist bump between Johnny & Reed was funny. As was Johnny lowering the chair.

Sue didn’t even get to go? Just a bystander?

The film as a whole is so dark and lifeless.

They’re not superheroes at all. They’re mercenaries. It reminds me of ‘The New Mutants’ as it’s more horror-esque than superhero.

The head butt that Ben gave Reed looked silly.

Doom was so bad. Visually. Conceptually. And what are his powers?

Ben’s catchphrase is what his brother used to say to him before he’d beat him?!?! Why?!?!

‘What if we say no?’ ‘Say yes.’ That’s a convincing argument.

The Thing that nobody wanted is crazy. Just so cruel. They had no banter the whole movie then Johnny just randomly says that.

‘Say that again.’ You know the meme. I will not say it again. It is not fantastic at all.

How do you have Michael B. Jordan & Miles Teller in a film and their characters are not only uncharismatic, but also just straight up unlikable?

Rating: 1/10